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Firstly, If you've posted something with writing lately and I haven't either faved or commented, there's a good chance it's still in my inbox waiting for me to have a moment I can focus long enough to read it.
This journal letting you know, instead of a message I don't think I could manage at this time, probably won't be noticed but I've got enough going on that I don't need this clunkin around in my head so thought I'd just put it here for now.
[ Below is a more personal update, so, just a bit of a heads up cause it may be hard to read.
Brain vomit and such. No need to continue. ]
Shock is... weird.
I know I've written from it's point of view in Luna's story but to actually experience it?
Can I like... y'know, not?
My memory has turned to shit (didn't know it could get worse than it already was), looking at his photo feels like I'm looking at a stranger (which bugged me to the point that I actually checked some forums I found via Google to see if it was normal), when it's brought up I go into instant oversensitive-to-everyone-around-me mode, I'm more likely to snap at people, I'm making like 3 times my usual number of typos, and I've started having tremors periodically. Thank god it hasn't effected my ability to draw or I'd probably be taking this way worse than I am.
On the other hand, I don't feel that bad mood-wise. Which probably has to do with the shock filtering it through several, previously mentioned other means. Zoning out on GW2, working on a vent drawing and RP on SecondLife has probably helped too (can see a couple w.i.p.'s of some things I've been working on here).
Everything considered, I think I'm doing alright overall.
I honestly thought I'd react worse.
Maybe having witnessed it from the beginning kicked the shock in early so it didn't stick in my mind too detailed? That would explain why I can't visualize that dead look in his eyes when we got to him anymore. Although, my brain isn't a stranger to kicking out bad memories (there is literally chunks of my life missing).
The Doctor gave me a number to call if I needed too, so there's that (though so far Ry, Meeko, friends, [some] family and Google[lol] have made it unnecessary).
Let's hope it stays that way cause I hate using the phone. :l
|....... I will never forget you .......|
|.. My Pet, My Friend, My Savior ..|
|..... ~My Beloved Smokey~ .....|
|..July 1, 1992 - October 5, 2007..|
Lunaise Chronicles by (W.i.P).
- Oryon's Prophecy
- Prologue: Birth of Prophecy
- Chapter 1: Seventeen
- Chapter 2: The Madman
- Chapter 3: Unwelcome Embrace
- Chapter 4: Awakening
- Chapter 5: Desolation
- Chapter 6: Cleansed
- Chapter 7: Budding Rivalry
|Sister (Best friend) ~
|Best (guy) friends ~ , , ,
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|Trades: Doubt it.
|Requests: For friends only.
|Do not reproduce, alter, use, or distribute my art without my explicit permission. This is not limited to; copying, tracing, reusing, claiming as your own, etc.